The Broom Closet

I am a first generation practicing witch. That means I’m the first in my family to follow this tradition.

In fact, my entire family is conservative (bordering on fundamentalist) Christian. They probably wouldn’t be too happy to know what I believe now.

Do I have to choose between being open and honest with my family and being open and honest with myself?

The short answer is yes.

But there is hope.

Timing is important

At one point I lived with my family and coming out of the broom closet, a phrase which here refers to announcing that I’m a witch, would not be safe for me to do.

I relied too heavily on their support, and my intuition told me that coming out was the wrong move.

I went through the same process years earlier when I was in the closet for my sexuality.

To this day my family knows about neither of these things.

My guilt and anxiety were at max capacity. What could I do? I was stuck.

Why are you writing about coming out of the closet if you’re still in there?

Because coming out is a process, and I’m only out to a few close friends (and you!).

But sure, I could just blurt it all out to my family, but that would just give them whiplash.

As a liberal feminist, they already have too many reasons to judge me.

In my situation, this is something that has to happen over time.

Finding common ground

The best advice I can give, whether you’re in the closet for religious reasons or for your sexuality, it’s find shared opinions.

If someone is already disgusted by you for who you are, they’re not going to want to know your favorite brand of candy bar.

Meaning, it’s important to start from a position of unity. Not to deceive anyone, but to cushion the blow.

Coming out might one day be a celebration instead of a devastation.

I can say,

Hey, Dad. Remember how I used to be critical of the church? You should know that I’m not a Christian anymore. I’m a pagan!

In addition, I’m a girl and I think other girls are hot and I want to kiss one.”

-Me, a big stupid idiot

Instead, I want to find something in common. I want to agree with him when he says something I think is true and hold my tongue when he says something sexist.

My conscience knows this will take time. Trying to teach everyone how they should treat others during this critical time will only cause division.

One mission at a time.

Maybe your family isn’t close

Maybe they couldn’t give a bigger fuck about you.

The truth is, every coming out story is different.

Maybe you just go off to live your life to its fullest and never have that conversation with the people who raised you.

The good news is that’s okay.

I’m right there with you. I’ve made progress, but progress can be slow.

There’s few things more difficult than feeling like a constant disappointment to the people you love.

Just remember that the only true person you need to be 100% open with is yourself.

“My family supports my decisions!”

If that describes you, congratulations! I’m so happy for you!

If your family dynamic is wholesome and supportive, you make me positively green with envy!

I know all families have their dysfunctions, and I’m no saint when it comes to contributing to the chaos.

But if you found your safe space and feel comfortable in your childhood home, my heart overflows with joy for you.

Just know that you are in the minority here, and the best thing you can do for your community is to take your experience and share it so that those of us still hiding can have hope for the future.

Does this ever get any easier?

It really does.

I have found so many warm friends in this community.

While I learn, practice, and learn some more, I know that I have a support group that loves me no matter what.

Maybe your family is the close internet weirdos you found just like you.

Maybe there’s hurt where a homestead used to be.

Coming out of the closet is a bitch, but it doesn’t have to be.

Among supportive friends, coming out is a celebration! Life is messy, and sometimes the best thing to do is play in the mud.

As long as it’s safe for you to do so.

I want to hear from you!

You can share your journey with me by clicking the Contact Me page on this site.

I love to communicate with others and sending a little support if I can.

You can also subscribe on the left or below via email and get updated on all new content.

This is a safe space for all manner of witchy friends alike, so don’t be a stranger!

Best regards and happy haunting,

Cat